Two blind men were sitting by the roadside, and when they heard that Jesus was going by, they shouted, “Lord, Son of David, have mercy on us!”
The crowd rebuked them and told them to be quiet, but they shouted all the louder, “Lord, Son of David, have mercy on us!”
Jesus stopped and called them. “What do you want me to do for you?” he asked.
“Lord,” they answered, “we want our sight.”
Jesus had compassion on them and touched their eyes. Immediately they received their sight and followed him. Matthew 20: 29-34
What do you want me to do for you?
I want you to keep your promises. I don’t want empty words. I need flesh-and-blood, money-in-bank, food-on-table promises keeping.
Lord, Son of David, have mercy on me.
*****
Nights are long just now. I dream incessantly, vividly, in three-dimensional, high-definition, surround-sound fear. Panic, isolation, rejection, seep in, creep up through the walls of my subconscious. I wake without having fully slept, exhausted, outside and in.
*****
Are you good? Can you be trusted? Do you love me?
The same questions spill out of my heart again. And the one who knows the word to sustain the weary answers.
Why are you discussing the fact that you have no bread? Do you not yet perceive or understand? Are your hearts hardened? Having eyes, do you not see, and having ears do you not hear? And do you not remember? When I broke the five loaves for five thousand, how many baskets full of broken pieces did you take up? …and the seven for the four thousand, how many baskets full of broken pieces did you take up? …Do you not yet understand? Mark 817-21
I remember that man does not live by bread alone and that what I really need is to see, to hear, to understand.
What do you want me to do for you?
Have mercy on me. Open my eyes. Show me where you are in all of this. Show me where you can be found in this moment.
And I realize that the promises are all yes, because they are all you. You are the Word, which does not come back empty or void, but achieves the purpose for which you sent it. Bread-on-table, treasure-provided, flesh-and-blood. All are you. All grace. All gifts. All given. And if you gave your own Son, how will you graciously not give us all things?
I look back on the day and see, “eat the mystery of the moment with trust.” The bank did not charge me; I was taken to dinner in a fancy French cafe; I was listened to and understood by a friend; I was not alone. Today, there was enough, more than enough, of what I needed.
*****
The light of morning wakes me from fear. And Jesus is there, preparing breakfast on the beach.
